Threesomes: Loving being a unicorn

Whenever she 1st requested me basically’d be interested in using the lady along with her heterosexual cis-male lover, I happened to ben’t selecting a three-way. I needed to explore sex with femme-presenting ladies.

I saw partners which looked-for thirds how many others perform, as shady and just enthusiastic about their particular gains – as dreadful unicorn hunters.

But her information was actually nice, and I also thought, ‘why-not?’

I’d no experience with threesomes with bi-curious lovers. I got just emerge per year previous as a bisexual and polyamorous lady after hiding for many years, and leaping from 1 monogamous directly relationship to next.

Getting bisexual brought the typical labels of being ‘dirty’ for enjoying both women and men sexually.

Becoming polyamorous and participating in relaxed sex suggested I became as well promiscuous, not psychologically committed sufficient, and branded a cheater before we actually found for a coffee.

Being plus-size with a body image/eating condition only increased the feelings of inadequacy and pity for who I am.

And whenever she messaged myself, advising myself she believed I found myself stunning, and inquiring me to meet the lady and her spouse for a drink and see how exactly we felt, we got the opportunity.

Two lips as opposed to one, four hands in the place of two worshipped my body system, and I also all of them. And also for the very first time in an exceedingly few years, I felt desired, appealing, and wished. And especially, I felt like I could eventually end up being me personally.

U

nicorn shopping
is
a term that defines
partners, generally cisgender, bi-curious people, looking for a third to join all of them for sexual play. This
third
, aptly named the
‘unicorn’
for observed rareness of these presence, is actually ideally a cisgender, thin, femme-presenting bisexual or bi-curious girl, a person who is solitary, delighted for No Strings Attached (NSA) plans, and you will be sexually exclusive with the few.

I am not a genuine unicorn as I’m perhaps not unmarried, sexually special, nor slim.

My main lover phone calls me a rainicorn instead. I’ve found the word charming as rainicorns (motivated by

Adventure Time

) may be found in all kinds of tints, shapes, and personalities. I thrive on getting a 3rd for couples, getting their sexual dreams alive without having the additional strings of an emotional attachment. We grab fantastic satisfaction in-being the thing both of them desire.

Intimacy, for me personally, can be but a great minute, a brief nights enthusiasm with no further expectations.

Anti-unicorn hunting has developed from a necessity to emphasize the harms a large number of bisexual cisgender and femme-presenting women encounter if they are hunted by lovers for prospective three-ways. It usually promotes throuple and triad conditions versus one-off intimate encounters to ensure the liberties of most involved.

And I also obtain it. Bisexual ladies are frequently coated as promiscuous, sexual objects, intimately fresh, hyper-sexual, and assumed to get upwards for and all sorts of sexual intercourse, including three-ways. A lot of currently maltreated through this exercise of searching, hence can not be discounted.

The thing is though, Im almost all of those actions. Being a unicorn has been the one and only devote which these components of my identification which happen to be regularly colored as misconceptions about bisexual individuals are appreciated.

While the feminist philosopher Ann Cahill suggests, never to end up being sexually objectified, such in the case of fat women, is seen as being refuted a sexuality and permission to savor enjoyment, something to which I have actually thought highly in most of my life.

Adopting this identity features allowed us to seek intimate fulfillment in a unique pair of means, in order to engage my personal hyper-sexuality, versus deny it.

Im tired of folks talking in my situation, assuming that Im constantly susceptible to exploitation regarding absolute idea of my personal bisexuality and femme-presenting sex. That becoming hunted means i will be always victim. That i need to usually desire a-deep, intimate, and on-going commitment with two in place of anything relaxed.

W

hile we have been painted as ‘rare’, In my opinion there could be a lot more women just like me in hiding. In the end, the reason why would I or any person desire to arrive forward openly as a unicorn, whenever message boards and so on paint unicorn hunters as ‘disgusting’ and simply wanting to ‘spice up their unique boring gender life’?

In which does that leave those of us just who enjoy becoming element of those dynamics once the hunted?

When shaming these lovers occurs, our company is additionally shaming the unicorns whom do these practices. We have been creating the story by which bi-curious NSA three-ways tend to be viewed as always inherently problematic activities, and strengthening the idea that women merely ever before desire romantic link, we cannot possibly be thinking about simply gender.

We must open up room and become aware for the diversity of sexual encounters. We may do a range of intimate techniques and engagements, and for many of us bi women for promiscuous, open to NSA three-ways, and hyper-sexual, isn’t a bad thing.

Nor is it a naturally adverse representation of bisexuality a lot more generally. In the end, it is really not the representation this is the problem, simple fact is that method by which really weaponised.

Sadly, the anti-unicorn ‘community’ is doing a damn okay work of pathologising me personally, and women at all like me, because we dare choose to accept areas of ourselves being regarded as a ‘problem’ by other individuals. Because we dare to-be ‘bad’ bisexuals.

I am a bisexual ‘rainicorn’.

And that I cannot just like getting hunted.

We fucking think it’s great.

Rainicorn operates in investigation, targeting systems, sexuality and gender, sexual procedures, and health and wellbeing. She recognizes as a bisexual, cisgender, polyamorous plus-size Anglo-Celtic girl, and is also gender positive, kink/fetish good, and excess fat good. Within her time, she loves painting and creating music, plus the delectable delights of the carnal underworld.

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